Dannii Minogue has the botox factor

A journalist I don't turn my nose up at any newspaper, although some more than others I purchase in haste and preferably incognito *cough* News of the World *cough*.
Intrigued by the sex,lies pop-gates and exposes it's a guilty pleasure I confess.

I am ratherfond of their Sunday 'glossy' suppliment Fabulous. Albeit not always living up to its namesake in my opinion it is still a fun read.

And if it wasn't for my younger sibling pointing it out I may never have read the interview that prompted me to scoff so much I was this close to the perfect gurn (think old people with no teeth pulling faces.)

The interviewee being Dannii Minogue. The younger and the more surgeried (in my opinion) of the Minogue sisters otherwise known as one fourth of the judging panel on ITV1's the X Factor.

A 3 page spread in issue 87 on Oct 4th '09. was mainly spent gushing about her love for new beau: "I am totally in love....I never felt like this before and I honestly never ever believed this would happen to me...I just feel the sun is shining every day...I'm exploding with happiness...I am now thinking babies... Ughh OK! we get the picture strewth!!

But just when I thought it couldn't get worse she went on to state the most laughable, ridiculous and in short utter bollocks of a reason to resort to the non invasive surgery procedure botox she is well known for indulging in:

"For me (when Kylie was ill and her friend was dying) all my emotions, all my devastation, were written all over my face I could cope with it inside but I couldn't cope with seeing it and others seeing it too. I wanted to use botox to hide everything I didn't want people to see the emotional devastation on my face, for me so much of it was about hiding"

Now I do not doubt for a second the pain anguish and hurt loosing a friend or nearly a sister to cancer must be and to that all my sympathies are with Ms Minogue.


HOWEVER insisting the reason she sucumbed to the needle is not at all as the article says to 'keep the wrinkles' at bay but instead to hide her grief stricken expression is the biggest whopper and load of BS I have heard in a long time.

I mean sure shes not worried about wrinkles shes only a 38 year old female in the highly age- phobic showbiz industry who is scrutinised on her appearance on a weekly basis and compared to her much younger co-panel judge 26 year old Cheryl Cole. why indeed would she need to resort to it absolute piffle of course.

But for such ingenuity Ms Minogue I must award a crown for the best ever surgical excuse.
I encourage you guys out there if you can think of a more genius excuse please post them here.

Bruce Forsyth needs to keep a lid on it

Well its finally happened Bruce Forsyths brain has dropped into his chin, rendering him an utter buffoon with a severe case of verbal diarreah .

The racial 'gaffe' Anton Du Beke made in calling fellow strictly partner Laila Rouass a highly derogatory term was bad enough without Forsyth wading in to add his 'Brucie Bonus' two cents.

The octogenarian whom its rumoured the BBC consider a bit past it to put it politely further fuelled the situation by stating on of all places Talk Sport Radio, random but Idigress that we the public should have more of a sense of humour about the whole thing digging more of a hole by going on to say:

"We used to have a sense of humour about this. You go back 25, 30, 40 years and there has always been a bit of humour about the whole thing. At one time the Americans used to call us 'limeys' which doesn't sound very nice, but we used to laugh about it. Everybody has a nickname.'

Good god let me slap him now! need I remind you Mr Forsyth that you are from the generation of comedians who believed Bernard Manning racist bigot extraordinaire was funny, Alf Garnett was likely thought normal and people on TV blacked themselves up as minstrels and danced around like a bunch of oafs for the viewing public's light entertainment!

I do believe being seen as politicaly correct these days goes to far, but this is just too much.

Now I don't think Bruce is racist one bit but the old man needs to brush up n oh what say 30-40 years of societies progression and stick to the shows script or get out.

Lobsters on south beach?

I know for a fact I'm not alone in having thoroughly enjoyed the glorious weather of late. For the past few 2 weeks as the sun came up over the skyline, millions of Londoners prepared for yet another day of hot sunshine.

But will they be tanned, bronzed and glowing? Err not in the slightest, quite a few I am sorry to say resemble 'lobsters on south beach' as the lilt advert from the 90s rythmically lamented.

I'm not being mean, being a Brit I totally understand why the first sign of sun gets us all excitted and has us whipping our clothes off quicker than you can say chippendales.

But year after year I baffle and do find it slightly amusing, the British reaction to the sun. Aside from thinking 'wa hey, lets get those shorts out' nothing else seems to be an issue, SPFs don't really seem to come into the equation, the concept of them seeming to be as foreign as pasty skin on a Spanish holiday.

Upon asking a few good friends why the hell they let themselves burn, when clearly they don't have to with suncream gracing every shop from Poundstretcher to Selfridges. I get a mixed reaction from blank stares and oft the answer 'sunscreen over here theres no point,the suns not strong enough.'

So I have come to the conclusion we Brits suffer from what I will call 'sun syndrome'. We view our holiday destinations as having their own celestial bodies. confused? let me explain. We break the sun up into two types. a) Holiday sun and b) home sun.

Now for some bizarre reason unfathomable to me we don't think the sun can be strong at all when at home, never mind the fact its 28 degrees and so hot the roads are turning gooey, why is this?because we are not on our 'hols'. if we were we would be slatherting on the white stuff like our lives depended on it.

But nope, on home soil we're bathing in our parks, barbecuing in our gardens all at peak sun times without a hint of cover up some even putting baby oil and cooking oil on I kid you not.

Please my fellow countrymen sort it out its not pretty and definately can't be comfortable.

Job Hunting is a bitch

I think I am suffering from bloggers block, the ability to think of anything even remotely worthwhile to blog about seems to have waved bye bye to me and is probably enjoying a caravan holiday somewhere on the coast of Bognor. not wanting to leave the old blogging thingy blank for too long I guess I shall just regale you with accounts of my weekend.

As a student rolling in it I am not, so a part time job loomed big on the cards. looking for employment is not fun at the best of times but when the country is gripped in an economic meltdown with thousands losing their jobs it kind of takes the shine off it if you know what I mean.

So friday afternoon I took to the city armed with CV's and a spring in my step (granted this was caused by an ill fitting shoe nevertheless it was still there.)

Places I once scorned with a 'not even if you payed me' sneer (ironic because thats exatly what I want now) seemed to gleam and shine like a possible money cow straight into my bank account. McDonalds golden arches began to resemble welcoming arms, whilst the tills at TESCO I became convinced werea great way to stay off your feet all day and become knowledgeableof  nuitritious foodstuffs.

Ten hours later I have been to nearly every Pizza Hut, Hamburger Union and Gourmet Burger Kitchen, (you notice a pattern here) in London .The spring in my step has now turned into a pronounced limp and I realise how grateful people should be to have a job no matter how unappealing, I am off now to eat some warmed up humble pie.

I hate being without my Ipod

I hate being Ipodless, particularly in the mornings even more so on the mornings where everything seems to be going to shit- dodgy tummy, I can't find the earrings I'm looking for even worse my USB pen -the holy grail (trust me it is when you're a student) decides now is the time to play hide and seek; in my case hiding permanently is all mine is capable of doing.

music therefore is the remedy, the elixir cure for these idiosyncratic nuances that decide to blind- sight me at 8am on a weekday morning.

leaving me free to get lost in the melody or hooks of my favourite tuned is the perfect escape for not having to think about the bigger problems in my life that if I let them may consume me whole.

Why should I have children?

Last weekend whilst watching the BBC’s panelist debate show The Big Question as I often do, the mention of the forthcoming ‘question’ are modern mothers selfish i.e. should they have careers when wanting or having a family, nearly made me shoot my orange flavoured options out through my nose. Surely they did not have to discuss this? Last time I checked we had entered 2009 not 1959.

I am at the age were some might say having a baby should be on the cards soon but others (including myself) would say I am still a child myself.

Babies, just the very word sends me running for the hills. The truth is I have no desire to procreate and have no problem as a woman with saying that. Friends including myself used to think it was something I would grow out of but the truth is I don’t have a mothering bone in my body and don’t feel ‘guilty’ for not having so. I have nothing against women who choose to have kiddies, just don’t look at me like I am the child-catcher from chitty chitty bang bang because I don’t want one either, nor do I appreciate those telling me ‘ahh you will change your mind’, how patronising and annoying. People never question those with a burning desire to have kids, I choose not to have kids ok, I want a career not stretchmarks I want freedom and don’t want to have to be rearing a child into this world for the next 20 years, it won’t fit in with my life plans or exotic holidays.

I can hear the disapproving collective gasps of the bugaboo pushing yummy mummy crowd that dissect every detail of little Edwards hand-painting, ugh I personally couldn’t imagine anything more banal.
Why should women be made to feel as if they are not fulfilling their duty because they aren’t popping out babies like tic tacs? Just because one has the capability of doing something it doesn’t mean they must. Just like life, it’s all about choices and mine includes never having to touch a nappy unless I accidently brushing past one in a supermarket aisle.

Not all females who only hear the pitter patter of tiny feet in their nightmares are cold and child-hating. I certainly do not hate children i am just indifferent toward them
It wasn’t so long ago women fought to separate their identities, however fast forward a couple of decades and suddenly women seem to be happy to regress to outdated stereotypes. I am dreading the day when my friend are happy to talk about baby-food blends and highchair brands 24/7 I know I certainly will not.

categories

testing for categories, readers please ignore, new readers believe me it does get better than this.